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One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

3 months ago  4 notes View high resolution

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

3 months ago  1 note View high resolution

POTD

3 months ago 

I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN THIS

This was me 3-4 years ago.

genderception:

My family and I went out to a restaurant for my birthday.

AND. I. PASSED.

I. PASSED. AS. MALE.

JUST ONE PRONOUN THAT NO ONE ELSE CAUGHT BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I PASSED WHEN MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS TREATING ME AS FEMALE.

THANK YOU LOVELY WAITRESS.

3 months ago  13 notes

My Life has become a research project! Feb 2012

My Life has become a research project.


WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION 

check back March 2012.

3 months ago 

Doomed if we don’t accept Jesus?

Since a young age I’ve been skeptical of all of the mysticism of Christianity, despite that I was raised in the church and have always been a relatively spiritual person.

I grew up analyzing what I was hearing in the context of logic, history, and science.  I came to the conclusion that a lot of what conservative Christians believe is pretty crazy, but that Jesus guy?  He was right about a lot of stuff.  As I continued to study history and politics I became appalled that such radically conservative sectors of American society held up as their idol a man who was, essentially, a radical socialist hippie.

You might say I’m a radical socialist hippie myself, so I’m not opposed to people paying attention to Jesus’s teachings.

A lot of conservative preachers talk about how “there is no way to salvation but through Jesus,” and I’m beginning to think that maybe they’re right.

Sort of.

I’m angered by the hopeless ignorance of the scientific method that accompanies conservative Christian beliefs, however if we — as a world — don’t start “loving our neighbors” and “turning the other cheek” — core teachings of Jesus and many other philosophers — we really might be utterly screwed.  We can argue on and on and on about the dogma regarding Jesus (and I suspect a lot of it is false), but I fear that if we don’t “accept Jesus” and his teachings about compassion and giving that we may indeed be doomed to destroy ourselves.

3 months ago  2 notes

Dreamer Mondays: I Dream of Happiness

dreamer-mondays:

I dream of being happy again. I dream of not worrying about having a safe, warm place to sleep and not worrying about having nutritious food in my belly. I dream about having a dog, and not worrying about keeping it up to date on its shots & registration. I dream of having regular dental &…

3 months ago  1 note

Dreamer Mondays: I dream of happiness

From Dreamer-Mondays.Tumblr.com:

I dream of being happy again.  I dream of not worrying about having a safe, warm place to sleep and not worrying about having nutritious food in my belly.  I dream about having a dog, and not worrying about keeping it up to date on its shots & registration.  I dream of having regular dental & medical checkups; I dream about having the money to visit my grandparents and travel.

In my dreams I look for somewhere I can be close to nature again.  In my dreams I look for loving relationships not stressed by money.  In my dreams everyone has their basic needs met.  In my dreams I can travel from tribe to tribe, coast to coast and be an ambassador for my kind; I can learn about their cultures and teach them about my own.

In my dreams I’m surrounded by artists again; in my dreams I seek to master storytelling; in my dreams I am surrounded by dancers and artists and actors and in my dreams I live somewhere between the bland reality and the magnificent theater of the mind.  In my dreams I can go places with others that I could never go by myself.

In my dreams, I am happy again.  In my dreams I feel pain, but it is the pain of the ages… In my dreams I have forgiven, and I know where to place my anger.  In my dreams I can heal others.  In my dreams I can let others find me and heal me and help me to grow.

3 months ago 

Who Is She

Who is this girl

and how did she come into my life?

I don’t know, but when I’m in my lowest low I can feel her skin against me.  In the lowest of my valleys, in the darkest of my times it’s like She’s God to me… holding me close and letting me know I’m loved.  In the darkest shadows with nothing else there, she’s there.  Who is she? And how did she make it here?  I don’t know, but I don’t know where I’d be without her.

How did I come to love her?  Who is this girl, and how did I come to love her?

I don’t know, and sometimes I feel bad for chasing after her, but I was struck and pulled… somehow she got a hook in me and she was beautiful, and I didn’t know who she was but I wanted to know… I wanted to look into her and know her.

God, who is she?

But I look into her now and I know her.  We’re both scared now and sometimes, but sometimes… aside from the pain and our foolish careless bumbling youth, I see her… I see her… I told her she was beautiful in the dark and she said, “but it’s dark!” and I hushed her and said, “shhh… I see you.  And you are beautiful…”

God, who is she?

I love her so much and sometimes I wonder if I keep on asking myself these questions because I’ll never really have the answers, I’ll never really have the words to describe her, the words to explain who she is, deep down.  I’m learning to write volumes on it now, in my head, but it’s because I know her, and I want to know her, and for some god-unknown mysterious reason she is the direction of the universe I want to know everything about.

Wow…

Why?

3 months ago 

“Stand Tall” — Original Composition Feb 2012

I know my voice isn’t the best, but the fact that I’m composing and singing on video is pretty amazing.

I wrote this last week when I was freaking out about my sexual orientation lecture… I didn’t feel prepared, and I didn’t feel good enough, and, and, and…. This is what came out.

To all of you who struggle with the same, with standing tall, here are my words for you.

3 months ago 

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

One of the random things you might find laying around my bedroom: a dildo.  NSFW!

POTD

I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN THIS

This was me 3-4 years ago.

genderception:

My family and I went out to a restaurant for my birthday.

AND. I. PASSED.

I. PASSED. AS. MALE.

JUST ONE PRONOUN THAT NO ONE ELSE CAUGHT BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I PASSED WHEN MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS TREATING ME AS FEMALE.

THANK YOU LOVELY WAITRESS.

My Life has become a research project! Feb 2012

My Life has become a research project.


WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION 

check back March 2012.

Doomed if we don’t accept Jesus?

Since a young age I’ve been skeptical of all of the mysticism of Christianity, despite that I was raised in the church and have always been a relatively spiritual person.

I grew up analyzing what I was hearing in the context of logic, history, and science.  I came to the conclusion that a lot of what conservative Christians believe is pretty crazy, but that Jesus guy?  He was right about a lot of stuff.  As I continued to study history and politics I became appalled that such radically conservative sectors of American society held up as their idol a man who was, essentially, a radical socialist hippie.

You might say I’m a radical socialist hippie myself, so I’m not opposed to people paying attention to Jesus’s teachings.

A lot of conservative preachers talk about how “there is no way to salvation but through Jesus,” and I’m beginning to think that maybe they’re right.

Sort of.

I’m angered by the hopeless ignorance of the scientific method that accompanies conservative Christian beliefs, however if we — as a world — don’t start “loving our neighbors” and “turning the other cheek” — core teachings of Jesus and many other philosophers — we really might be utterly screwed.  We can argue on and on and on about the dogma regarding Jesus (and I suspect a lot of it is false), but I fear that if we don’t “accept Jesus” and his teachings about compassion and giving that we may indeed be doomed to destroy ourselves.

Dreamer Mondays: I Dream of Happiness

dreamer-mondays:

I dream of being happy again. I dream of not worrying about having a safe, warm place to sleep and not worrying about having nutritious food in my belly. I dream about having a dog, and not worrying about keeping it up to date on its shots & registration. I dream of having regular dental &…

Dreamer Mondays: I dream of happiness

From Dreamer-Mondays.Tumblr.com:

I dream of being happy again.  I dream of not worrying about having a safe, warm place to sleep and not worrying about having nutritious food in my belly.  I dream about having a dog, and not worrying about keeping it up to date on its shots & registration.  I dream of having regular dental & medical checkups; I dream about having the money to visit my grandparents and travel.

In my dreams I look for somewhere I can be close to nature again.  In my dreams I look for loving relationships not stressed by money.  In my dreams everyone has their basic needs met.  In my dreams I can travel from tribe to tribe, coast to coast and be an ambassador for my kind; I can learn about their cultures and teach them about my own.

In my dreams I’m surrounded by artists again; in my dreams I seek to master storytelling; in my dreams I am surrounded by dancers and artists and actors and in my dreams I live somewhere between the bland reality and the magnificent theater of the mind.  In my dreams I can go places with others that I could never go by myself.

In my dreams, I am happy again.  In my dreams I feel pain, but it is the pain of the ages… In my dreams I have forgiven, and I know where to place my anger.  In my dreams I can heal others.  In my dreams I can let others find me and heal me and help me to grow.

Who Is She

Who is this girl

and how did she come into my life?

I don’t know, but when I’m in my lowest low I can feel her skin against me.  In the lowest of my valleys, in the darkest of my times it’s like She’s God to me… holding me close and letting me know I’m loved.  In the darkest shadows with nothing else there, she’s there.  Who is she? And how did she make it here?  I don’t know, but I don’t know where I’d be without her.

How did I come to love her?  Who is this girl, and how did I come to love her?

I don’t know, and sometimes I feel bad for chasing after her, but I was struck and pulled… somehow she got a hook in me and she was beautiful, and I didn’t know who she was but I wanted to know… I wanted to look into her and know her.

God, who is she?

But I look into her now and I know her.  We’re both scared now and sometimes, but sometimes… aside from the pain and our foolish careless bumbling youth, I see her… I see her… I told her she was beautiful in the dark and she said, “but it’s dark!” and I hushed her and said, “shhh… I see you.  And you are beautiful…”

God, who is she?

I love her so much and sometimes I wonder if I keep on asking myself these questions because I’ll never really have the answers, I’ll never really have the words to describe her, the words to explain who she is, deep down.  I’m learning to write volumes on it now, in my head, but it’s because I know her, and I want to know her, and for some god-unknown mysterious reason she is the direction of the universe I want to know everything about.

Wow…

Why?

“Stand Tall” — Original Composition Feb 2012

I know my voice isn’t the best, but the fact that I’m composing and singing on video is pretty amazing.

I wrote this last week when I was freaking out about my sexual orientation lecture… I didn’t feel prepared, and I didn’t feel good enough, and, and, and…. This is what came out.

To all of you who struggle with the same, with standing tall, here are my words for you.

POTD
I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN THIS
My Life has become a research project! Feb 2012
Doomed if we don’t accept Jesus?
Dreamer Mondays: I Dream of Happiness
Dreamer Mondays: I dream of happiness
Who Is She
“Stand Tall” — Original Composition Feb 2012

About:

Still trying to sync up my tumblr and my wordpress blog. See drbeaverboy.com
for the most recent posts.

Following:

Life with my FTM boy
Head over heels